Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
