Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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