I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I FOUND THE LEGS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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