____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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