Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
