Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize