I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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