I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
