im drinking this country out of the recession.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
