He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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