im about as happy as oj after his trial
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
