Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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