Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm both gender and math confused
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
