i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
