Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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