idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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