it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
