Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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