do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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