But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
