lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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