Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
