don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
