Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's the barista slut.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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