WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize