stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize