Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (923) Bad night (853)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??

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  (573): Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B?? http://tfl.nu/t2no
  Replies (21) Good night (3555) Bad night (885)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.

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  (503): I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best. http://tfl.nu/fuew
  Replies (15) Good night (4634) Bad night (1105)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.

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  (720): You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/qvhh
  Replies (94) Good night (7981) Bad night (1650)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

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  (847): Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago" http://tfl.nu/h89t
  Replies (46) Good night (2122) Bad night (7939)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.

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  (410): I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in. http://tfl.nu/o54w
  Replies (2) Good night (1801) Bad night (940)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.

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  (405): Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/852v
  Replies (6) Good night (3224) Bad night (944)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She just said, "are my livers going to die?"

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  (517): She just said, "are my livers going to die?" http://tfl.nu/litp
  Replies (12) Good night (3289) Bad night (1124)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"

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  (757): Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow" http://tfl.nu/vtnd
  Replies (8) Good night (2921) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

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  (517): I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed. http://tfl.nu/94v6
  Replies (10) Good night (5717) Bad night (1011)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark

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  (302): the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark http://tfl.nu/i1gh
  Replies (5) Good night (1672) Bad night (710)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me

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  (347): Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me http://tfl.nu/axou
  Replies (9) Good night (841) Bad night (1710)
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  (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

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  (916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91
  Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (350)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?

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  (217): Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form? http://tfl.nu/k9ye
  Replies (5) Good night (350) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life

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  (402): Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room (1-402): I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life http://tfl.nu/wz9a
  Replies (7) Good night (660) Bad night (253)

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