you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment