somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.