'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
