So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
