Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize