i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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