Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
