Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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