Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
