I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
well you can't waste a boner
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
