i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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