when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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