I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
