"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
