He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
