i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
