Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
