i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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