Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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