could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize