she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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