i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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