he puts the penis in happiness.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
