As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
