She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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