how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
birth control should be required to get into college
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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