I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
