I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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