GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
