I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
