So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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