remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
