She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
