I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize