so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
