I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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