i think i have herpe
just one?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
