and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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