too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
